areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
