i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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