Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize