He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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