the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
