I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
