Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
