And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
