they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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