guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize