Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize