I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
