What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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