Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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