He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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