he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
