She is in my trunk
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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