I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
