look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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