Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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