fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just took my morning after pill in the library
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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