u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
