i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
