He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
