She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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