I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
