If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
