you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Holy shit dude........stairs
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
