There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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