just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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