I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
