bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I have post one night stand depression
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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