It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
