Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
