How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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