Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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