Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
