I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
