Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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