Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
