I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize