the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
