just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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