Plan B is the new Plan A
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
