They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
