Apparently you make a good broom.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
