In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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