Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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