I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
