I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize