there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
