If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
