You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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