it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
