so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize