My pussy is not your playground.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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