doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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