Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
