The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just want nice things and good sex
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
