cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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