he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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