Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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