Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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