She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
