yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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