you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
