Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize